Patience in our house is forever wearing thin.
It wavers and wanes like an electrical wire in the wind.
Our voices and hands raised in frustrations, threats expressed, however futile.
We all negotiate, pander, bribe, cave using tear soaked screaming as our currency that dimishes and depresses me.
So with the whining reverberating in my ears, I fall back on the pillows.
Exhausted with the effort of bedtime dressing and cajoling.
Disappointed that I have not lived up to my own best intentions, afraid my words may have hurt or scratched like a barb.
Then a miracle, in the uncommon silence, a cease fire as your small feet pound the distance from your bedroom to mine. You scoot around the footboard and stand in front of me, clutching an offering in your arms.
Eye to eye
Nose to nose
“Mommy. Do you want Swimmy?”
I reach out, past the knot in my throat, and you transfer the treasured pillow pet to my arms, planting a kiss on my mouth.
Deliberate and sweet.
In the dark, you cannot see my eyes fill with grateful tears.
Our constant battle in a repreive , I seize your cheeks, holding them close to me, I whisper…
“I love you. So much Geeg!”
“ohhhh. I love you too Mommy.” and then as an afterthought. ”Can I go now? “
Before you go back to bed, striped PJs a blur as you scramper away, I let a single tear coarse down my cheek.
So that for a small crystal moment, our world is patient and so am I.
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| the Infamous Swimmy |
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| Just keep “Swimmy “ |
Awww they always know just what to say to bring us back from the edge.
Aw, so sweet. I think we all could use a Swimmy now and then.
Aww…an awww for both a Swimmy brought and a Mama. I think every Mama out there has wished for more patience. I know I have.
Don't you feel like the biggest villain on planet Earth when they offer you a truce? Me too, dear friend, me too!!! Huuu huuu… Sometimes when I lost my patience, and then my lil girl came up to me all sweet and cuddly… Oh the guilt!:) We just have to keep on telling ourselves that it's ok, not to be perfect all the time…
thank goodness, he knows forgiveness too.
aww so sweet
Sometimes we all need swimmy.
JDaniel throws in little white bunny over to my husband when he lays on the extra twin bed in JDaniel's room so, he will have a lovey too.I love that your son carried his with you.
So lovely. Every time. You do such a wonderful job creating a lyrical place with your words.FUCKING AWESOME [Sorry. I had to.]
There are more days than not that I don't live up to my own best intentions either. The night is a scary place to be when all you have if your thoughts and the memories of the lost patience that day. I always wonder, when will they stop coming back for more, when will they not wake up as if nothing happened. And I assure myself that tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow. sigh.
Oh my this is lovely and relatable and true. Much love to you, friend! XO
Oh Kir!! I love it! part of me can't wait till my little one can scamper like that
Patience and I do NOT play well together. I'm learning though…. slowly. This was so sweet. xo
This is so beautfiul and oh so relatable. Thank you.
Beautiful heartfelt post Kir! xx