Kate trudged through the slushy mess of the intersection, sidestepping deep icy puddles in high heeled boots on her way to the makeshift park of benches and a gazebo in the front of the courthouse .
The weatherman had called for an afternoon dusting, but this was a bona fide snowstorm. Deciding against sitting, she shivered and stamped her feet to keep warm while she waited for Charlotte, cursing her best friend for the impromptu and urgent call to go to lunch.
“I have to tell you something …” Charlotte had stage whispered to her.
Just as she was reaching into her bag to find her phone, a young man walked a little too close to her. His head bent against the elements with his thoughts obviously somewhere else, he plowed right into her sending her tumbling into the snow.
“SHIT!” he shouted when he realized that Kate was sprawled on the sidewalk. “Oh God, Ma’am I am so sorry…”
“Oh it’s fine…” Kate panted as she accepted his hand and he lifted her up.
“I didn’t see you…”
“..I know. I should have moved when I saw you coming…”
“..and I have so much on my mind today…”
Kate looked up into his face and gasped. His short blonde hair, crooked smile and gleaming green eyes reminded her of someone she had been trying to forget ever since she had opened an email weeks ago. The words had shocked her since they came from someone she had been convinced had completely forgotten her.
“…like I just got accepted to Penn State, but I really want to go to the University of Delaware..”
“What?” she stammered, squinting at him through the snowflakes, taking in the features that were so familiar.
“umm…” he started squinting back at her . “Hey, you ok lady?”
Kate’s fingers twisted her wedding band, reminding herself that she was married, maybe not happily right now, but married. She shook her head and smiled at the young version of an old love.
“Sorry, you just remind me of someone.”
“Oh.” He answered. “ Well, I hope it’s someone you like.”
Kate chuckled and touched his arm. “It is.” and then added, “hey, good luck getting into U Del.”
The boy just grinned and then loped off into the snowstorm.
Kate turned around to see Charlotte making her way to her in heels of her own, “Katie!” She shouted, “ready to get a drink?”
Kate bit her lip ,“I think I might have some things to tell you too…”
they took us back to our roots with a Prompt that was used by THE RED DRESS CLUB.
It was Fun, Fun, Fun (I really liked this prompt)
My numbers 3,6,9,2 (a park, a high school graduate, a snowstorm, secrets)
Looks like Kate’s story is going to be just as interesting.
Oooh, a mystery wrapped up in another mystery! A mystery jelly roll!!!!!
(Sorry, this is what happens when I have a day off of work.)
But I love how you throw in little details, like Kate biting her lip. That conveys so much in so few words.
I am so excited about this story and so glad that you are reading. That makes me very happy.
YAY! (jumps with excitement) So much here to be revealed… and so much to enjoy in what we already know. A particular line I like, because it tells us so much about a character in a single line: “…Charlotte had stage whispered to her.” Love your stuff as always Kir!
thank you sweetie….I am so happy that you even READ my stuff honestly. I am soooooo glad you are enjoying it.
Nicely done, I like the detail about playing with the wedding ring!
thank you so much, just for coming over to read it.
“Ever since”
Love where this is going. Really loved that the report from the weather man was wrong. Fantastic! Looking forward to the next installment.
thank you….I fixed it. and thanks so much for coming over to read, that means SO Much to me.
well, it just wouldn’t be as fun if only Charlotte got all the mystery and intrigue and excitement
A few small critiques: your first line is super long and I had to re-read it so I know exactly what you were saying. I think you could safely break it into two so the reader doesn’t get pulled from the story.
Another really long sentence you could safely break into 2: Kate looked up into his face and gasped, because his short blonde hair, crooked smile and gleaming green eyes reminded her of someone she had been trying to forget ever since she had opened an email weeks ago shocked to see words from someone she had been convinced had completely forgotten her.
Looking forward to what Charlotte has to tell her…and hearing Kate spill the beans
yes, as I wrote to you offline..I will fix these. I should have gone with my gut and just spaced them. But thank you for helping me decide. It’s nice to have another set of eyes.
These ladies are “GATHERING their buttercups” lots to come
Lots of fun details to be revealed here! Love that!
And I love, like another commenter noted, how well you use small nonverbals, like that bit lip, to convey so much.
And she totally met her ex’s son, right?
oooh, I wasn’t even thinking that…but it’s a possibility now. Thank you Nancy…:) These two girls are going to have lots of secrets, “gathering their buttercups” ..I can’t wait to reveal them. Thanks for reading, that means a lot to me.
I really want to know more. I was very drawn into this. It’s the kind of story I lve.
HI, I’m glad. I think I do the Chick lit better than other stuff…so for you to say It drew you in makes me smile. I appreciate that.
Oh, I can’t wait to find out!
all in good time my friend.
thanks for coming over to read it.
Oooooh, I like this!
OOOOOH, I’m so glad. you are a MY FAVORITE READER
xo
Great set up to make us want to read more! I like this interaction between the high school boy and the married woman. Very realistic dialogue.
thank you Jessica, I appreciate that since I fiddled with it for a little while, trying to hear it in my head. Thanks for reading.
This prompt is my favorite. I’m so impressed you were able to use it to forward your storyline. I like Kate and Charlotte. I really, really do.
I loved the prompt too…and actually enjoyed trying to figure out how to make it fit. That is the most challenging part
thanks for reading it my friend.
Everyone has secrets
Nice way to continue to work on your new storyline and I like this little twist.
they sure do and these two ladies are going to have plenty…;) So glad you enjoyed it, thank you for reading it.
I like them both so much! And I am so excited that Charlotte isn’t the only one “gathering”. And I’m with Nancy; I would LOVE if it was her ex’s son and a catalyst in their story
Oh I’m glad, I like them both too…and I’m also getting to know them. Charlotte I have a lot on…Kate not so much, I’m fleshing her out…but I just might make that boy more than he was….for you and Nancy of course
xo
I loved this prompt too! I had a lot more fun with it than I thought I would.
I’m so curious about where this is going. Knowing you, I’m imagining it will progress, no?
LOL..it was fun wasn’t it???
yes, this story I will be telling like I did with Kimmy and David last year…matching the prompt to the the story…let’s see if I can do it again. The story is just beginning.