There are going to be moments sometime in my future, where I will take stock of my life and the friendships in it.
I will think of the women who were brave enough to give a voice to their own moments, the good, the bad and the ugly and then share them with us.
I will remember the times I read the beautiful words of Robin of Farewell Stranger and I will count myself lucky because in the middle of tens of thousands of blogs here behind this screen I was able to find her and then have her as one of my editors with JUST BE ENOUGH.
I am able to call her “friend.”
Robin is such a prolific writer that I doubt there is anything I can say in this space that would do any justice to how much I respect her, but maybe should I let her own writing speak for itself.
Maybe what will move you to tears (like it did to me) is the story of how she chose the name of her blog, or perhaps it will be her gorgeous homage to The Velveteen Rabbit and what is real. (this is one of my very favorites of her posts). On the other hand maybe you’ll be awed and inspired as she talks about her son Connor or what will help you feel like you are not alone will be here deep, heartfelt and amazing posts about her struggle with and against PPD.
Whatever it is that has you perched at Robin’s place, I assure you, you will love her like I do.
And now Robin is going to be giving Connor a sibling later this year, a happy and welcome twist in the plan.
I think it’s safe to say that when Robin picked VIBRANT as her word of the year, she knew how colorful and amazing it would be.
She’s here today with her Proud Mommy Moment:
If you know me at all, you’ll know I haven’t had the easiest time with my son. He was fussy as a baby, is a little too fond of hitting now, and I can count on one hand (okay, maybe two) the number of times he has slept through the night in the last four years. Combine that with my extended issues with postpartum depression and I haven’t felt very deserving of a Mother of the Year award.
All of that also contributed to a bigger gap between kids than we had originally anticipated. Connor will be four in June, and I’m due with our second in October. Not quite the idyllic two- to three-year gap we had imagined.
Of course, there are some good things about that gap. He’s in preschool and has his own other activities to keep him busy and happy and to give us a little bit of a break in the second-time-around early newborn days. We’re past most of the hard stuff about having a baby and now know full well that each of the challenging phases along the way do end.
But then there’s the return to the parents-of-a-newborn state. We graduated from that – perhaps not with honors, but still – and it feels a bit like we’re being sent back to repeat the curriculum again. We did it the first time, but can we do it again? And, more importantly, can we do it again with a rambunctious preschooler in the mix?
That’s the part that had me worried. Connor is so active and he doesn’t seem to appreciate that people don’t like being poked in the eye. He has a tendency to run at top speed and tackle from behind, and if we ask him not to do that he goes instead for the full-body frontal assault. I can’t imagine that going over well with a new baby.
He’s also very much in the stage where he wants all the attention all the time.
“Don’t talk to each other.”
“Turn off the computer.”
“Will you play with me?”
I was having horrible images of him not adapting at all well to competition in the form of a baby in need of round-the-clock care.
He has been talking about his “baby sister” for a long time – since well before I got pregnant. We don’t know what this baby is yet, and we don’t intend to find out, but as far as he’s concerned it’s his baby sister and he’s already planning what he’s going to do with and teach her. So far the list includes reading, playing, building with Lego, painting, and even sleeping. (I can’t wait to see how he teaches a new baby that. Actually, maybe we want him to have nothing whatsoever to do with influencing this baby’s sleep…) This week’s addition to the list was “teaching her how to pee and poop so she doesn’t fall in.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him little babies don’t use the toilet.
Six months out I’m getting a glimpse of the kind of big brother he wants to be. He’s so caring, and when I remind him not to jump on my belly he knows exactly why.
“Be gentle, buddy. Remember who’s in there?”
The evidence so far points to him being a really gentle, really loving, really GREAT big brother.
Maybe this mommy graduated at the top of her class after all.
Robin, you are such an inspriration to me, a woman I have great love and respect for.
I believe you are a phenomenal mom who is raising the most aweseome little boy. This story is proof of that.
Thank you for sharing your moment here with me, it is always so good to have you in my corner.
You can find Robin in all these places:
Her blog: Farewell Stranger
On Twitter: @FarewellStrangr
and of course every blogger wants someone to LIKE their FACEBOOK PAGE
Thank you Robin, for just being you. xo
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Please don’t forget to VOTE for my nominated piece for BlogHer’s VOICE OF THE YEAR about my struggle with infertility,
you can click right here to vote for BEING CARRIED. Thank you! xo