Proud Mommy Moments: Robin of Farewell Stranger has Flown In

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 There are going to be moments sometime in my future, where I will take stock of my life and the friendships in it.

I will think of the women who were brave enough to give a voice to their own moments, the good, the bad and the ugly and then share them with us.

I will remember the times I read the beautiful words of Robin of Farewell Stranger and I will count myself lucky because in the middle of tens of thousands of blogs here behind this screen I was able to find her and then have her as one of my editors with JUST BE ENOUGH.

I am able to call her “friend.”

Robin is such a prolific writer that I doubt there is anything I can say in this space that would do any justice to how much I respect her, but maybe should I let her own writing speak for itself.

Maybe what will move you to tears (like it did to me) is the story of how she chose the name of her blog, or perhaps it will be her gorgeous homage to The Velveteen Rabbit and what is real. (this is one of my very favorites of her posts). On the other hand maybe you’ll be awed and inspired as she talks about her son Connor or what will help you feel like you are not alone will be here deep, heartfelt and amazing posts about her struggle with and against PPD.

Whatever it is that has you perched at Robin’s place, I assure you, you will love her like I do.

And now Robin is going to be giving Connor a sibling later this year, a happy and welcome twist in the plan.

I think it’s safe to say that when Robin picked VIBRANT as her word of the year, she knew how colorful and amazing it would be.

She’s here today with her Proud Mommy Moment:

 

If you know me at all, you’ll know I haven’t had the easiest time with my son. He was fussy as a baby, is a little too fond of hitting now, and I can count on one hand (okay, maybe two) the number of times he has slept through the night in the last four years. Combine that with my extended issues with postpartum depression and I haven’t felt very deserving of a Mother of the Year award.

All of that also contributed to a bigger gap between kids than we had originally anticipated. Connor will be four in June, and I’m due with our second in October. Not quite the idyllic two- to three-year gap we had imagined.

Of course, there are some good things about that gap. He’s in preschool and has his own other activities to keep him busy and happy and to give us a little bit of a break in the second-time-around early newborn days. We’re past most of the hard stuff about having a baby and now know full well that each of the challenging phases along the way do end.

But then there’s the return to the parents-of-a-newborn state. We graduated from that – perhaps not with honors, but still – and it feels a bit like we’re being sent back to repeat the curriculum again. We did it the first time, but can we do it again? And, more importantly, can we do it again with a rambunctious preschooler in the mix?

That’s the part that had me worried. Connor is so active and he doesn’t seem to appreciate that people don’t like being poked in the eye. He has a tendency to run at top speed and tackle from behind, and if we ask him not to do that he goes instead for the full-body frontal assault. I can’t imagine that going over well with a new baby.

He’s also very much in the stage where he wants all the attention all the time.

“Don’t talk to each other.”

 “Turn off the computer.”

“Will you play with me?”

I was having horrible images of him not adapting at all well to competition in the form of a baby in need of round-the-clock care.

He has been talking about his “baby sister” for a long time – since well before I got pregnant. We don’t know what this baby is yet, and we don’t intend to find out, but as far as he’s concerned it’s his baby sister and he’s already planning what he’s going to do with and teach her. So far the list includes reading, playing, building with Lego, painting, and even sleeping. (I can’t wait to see how he teaches a new baby that. Actually, maybe we want him to have nothing whatsoever to do with influencing this baby’s sleep…) This week’s addition to the list was “teaching her how to pee and poop so she doesn’t fall in.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him little babies don’t use the toilet.

Six months out I’m getting a glimpse of the kind of big brother he wants to be. He’s so caring, and when I remind him not to jump on my belly he knows exactly why.

“Be gentle, buddy. Remember who’s in there?”

“My baby.”

The evidence so far points to him being a really gentle, really loving, really GREAT big brother.

Maybe this mommy graduated at the top of her class after all.

 

Robin, you are such an inspriration to me, a woman I have great love and respect for.

I believe you are a phenomenal mom who is raising the most aweseome little boy. This story is proof of that.
Thank you for sharing your moment here with me, it is always so good to have you in my corner.

 

You can find Robin in all these places:
Her blog: Farewell Stranger

On Twitter: @FarewellStrangr

Her amazing boards on Pinterest

and of course every blogger wants someone to LIKE their FACEBOOK PAGE

Thank you Robin, for just being you. xo

 

 

 If you are a member of BlogHer 

Please don’t forget to VOTE for my nominated piece for BlogHer’s VOICE OF THE YEAR about my struggle with infertility,

you can click right here to vote for BEING CARRIED. Thank you! xo

 

 

 

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23 Responses to Proud Mommy Moments: Robin of Farewell Stranger has Flown In
  1. frelle
    April 19, 2012 | 6:15 am

    Im so glad to see Robin here, and love her immensely just as you do. :)

    Robin, thank you so much for talking about this aspect of anticipating behavior out of an older sibling. I think every mother is concerned about how the baby will be viewed and welcomed and find a place in the family… and I believe youre right that Connor will be a sweet, gentle big brother. I love these moments you shared about him here.

  2. Robin | Farewell, Stranger
    April 19, 2012 | 9:35 am

    Kir, thank you so much for having me here and for your beautifully kind words. I am so grateful to have found you too. xo

    • kir
      April 19, 2012 | 11:14 am

      the pleasure, the honor…ALL MINE and your words for me on your blog…I’ve been weepy all morning. xo
      THANK YOU for being here..I love having you here.

  3. Alison@Mama Wants This
    April 19, 2012 | 9:52 am

    I do believe that you did graduate with honours with Connor. He’s a great kid!!

    And I’m so excited for #2!

  4. molly
    April 19, 2012 | 9:56 am

    You’ll be awesome, Robin. The thing about the second time around is that you have this great perspective that first time moms don’t have. Believe me when I tell you it will all work out. Will there be stressful times? Sure. Will there be times when he’s not the best big brother? Of course. But the good times happen more than the bad times :)

    • Robin | Farewell, Stranger
      April 20, 2012 | 11:58 am

      Thanks Molly! I have faith it will be okay (and more than a little curiosity about what it will be like).

  5. Elaine
    April 19, 2012 | 10:46 am

    Yep, definitely sounds like he’s going to put a LOT of his energy into being an awesome big brother! So sweet… “My baby…” :D

  6. Kimberly
    April 19, 2012 | 12:18 pm

    You sure did graduate with honors, Robin. And that sweet little boy will be an amazing big brother. I am so very excited for you!

  7. Rosemary
    April 19, 2012 | 12:59 pm

    Robin, I love you so much and Connor and Rich too. This post made me laugh (and tear up). I even read parts to Steve. He’s with you on not letting Connor have anything to do with the baby’s sleeping. ;) I am so excited to watch your two grow together. It will be amazing. x x

  8. Chunky Mama
    April 19, 2012 | 2:57 pm

    Just want to say, if your oldest suddenly bites the baby for no reason what so ever, it’s happened to the best of us. Every single Mom of boys I know has had to deal with this, even with the most passive of older brothers. I feel the need to warn you here just so you can be on the lookout and not feel like a failure if it happens to you too! (I totally freaked out when it was my kid.)

  9. Sandy
    April 19, 2012 | 2:59 pm

    He sounds like he’s going to be an awesome big brother…albeit a little surprised if you end up having another boy. ;-) You’re certainly top of the class in my eyes. Congrats and good luck!

  10. Galit Breen
    April 19, 2012 | 3:22 pm

    Oh lovely you, that kind of sweetness does;t come from nowhere!

    (And hooray for baby #2!)

  11. Kimberly
    April 19, 2012 | 10:42 pm

    You sure did mama. No doubt in my mind that you are raising a beautiful boy :)

  12. Rach (DonutsMama)
    April 20, 2012 | 11:08 pm

    Robin, I have no doubt you’re a great mama and I’m sure C will love being a big brother!

  13. angela
    April 21, 2012 | 1:01 pm

    Robin & Kir in one place…happy sighs!

    Well, there’s always the part that since Connor is a um, challenging sleeper, you’ve never fully recovered from the lack of sleep. (I say that with the utter empathy of someone who has two such sleepers!)

    I love that he calls the baby “his,” and I can’t wait for you to have the chance to watch them grow together in their sibling relationship.

  14. Natalie @MamaTrack
    April 23, 2012 | 2:49 pm

    Lovely, Robin! He’s going to be great. And so will you.

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