Katie whispered into the phone, “Are you there?”
“Yep”, Charlotte answered, “Kay, where are you?”
“In a dressing room at the mall.”
“Okaaaayy. You couldn’t call from home?”
“No!” Katie said, “Too many ears. Listen Char, I swear I’m possessed. One minute I’m devastated and the next I’m experiencing the highest euphoria I’ve ever known.”
“Sounds like the flu.” Charlotte chuckled, “or a really bad case of Love.”
“I’m going to hang up if you keep making fun of me. This is serious.”
“Buttercup?”
“Yeah?”
“Lance never stopped loving you, stop second guessing everything.”
“Really?”
“Yes, sweetie.” Charlotte sighed. “Yes.”
For Today, WRITE ON EDGE gave us a short challenge. Three fairly generic passive phrases. Our goal was to make them active in a short scene, either fiction or non-fiction. You could choose one, two, or all three to play with, but you only had 100 words.
[he/she/I] was devastated by [...]
[feeling] was experienced by [...]
[person/thing] was possessed by [...]
want more Gathering Buttercups?? CLICK HERE!!
Another wonderful segment! Loving this series!
HI Tessa,
thank you, I’m so glad you like it. Truly.
so nice to see you here.
a lovely addition to an ongoing tale! Poor Charlotte – she must be tired of getting these calls. And I love the image of Katie in a dressing room, whispering into the phone. Perfect.
Well Charlotte is tired of telling Katie what she already knows
but as her best friend, she is aware that she needs to be the voice of reason. Katie will become that for Charlotte very soon.
I actually had a conversation (not about this…but about a dress) with my best friend from a dressing room earlier this week..and she was the one that suggested that I take my Friday writing into the dressing room…as usual she was right, it worked. (I think)
I love Charlotte’s sigh at the end. I agree that she has a ton of patience!
right now, yes she does. Don’t worry it will be Katie’s turn to sigh at Charlotte’s drama soon enough…but for now she’s just being a good (if slightly frustrated) friend.
beautiful job. I didnt have any idea what in the world to do, but you make it look easy
HI Frelle, thank you. I thought it was very easy and breezy. I look forward to what you write. I’m reading you know….I’m in your space and reading. Promise.
Cute! It’s amazing how many vital conversations happen withing a dressing room.
it really is, and what’ great about best friends is that we don’t care where we are, we will have that vital or “talk you down from a cliff” conversation. This story is really about the friendship of these girls and these scenes really bring that to the forefront. Thanks for coming over to read.
I talk to my girlfriends in dressing rooms all the time. Back when I had a smartphone, I would text pictures of outfits!
oh yes, I did that the other day, sending pictures to Lisa to make sure the dress wasn’t too “Slutty” LOL. I actually don’t like people who do that, anywhere really, but I did it this week and parlayed it into fiction.
yeah, whilring dervish of dialogue and reactiosn was well written. Like Angela, you crafted this welll to the verb tenses.
I love the last line. It is absolutely perfect.
again, I like me some charlotte
I’m sure Charlotte would like you too.
Charlotte is tired of telling Katie things she already knows, she just wants her to believe in herself and in Lance. I’m glad that line worked.
thanks for reading it.
oh Kate, you are such an adolescent!
She’s not behaving the way I would imagine a 30 something to behave. She’ll need to grow up and mature a bit if she wants this relationship to flourish this time around
Kate is just in love…remember when it was new and your stomach was fluttering etc,and ahem, Charlotte is going to get very “goofy” soon too as her relationship takes off. You’re right of course, Kate needs to trust Lance, but she’s hesitant, she doens’t believe in happy ever after…and she needs him to help her do that. I fell in love at 32 with my husband, I was EXACTLY like this.
Oh I do love these scenes. So self-destructive, and yet, so sweetly innocent. You walk that subtle line very, very well. Great take on the prompt!
I am so glad you liked it. ANY compliment from you, I smile all day long.
happy Friday my friend.
I love the line, “sounds like the flu”. It absolutely sounds like something my best friend would say to me
Ah, I love these two ladies and their friendship!!!Wonderful…
Ooooh, I’ve had dressing room conversations. Great job; you know I love their friendship, and I love that they have each other’s best interests at heart all the time.
oh yes, their friendship before everything. And yes, Lisa and I actually had a dressing room convo this week, it was HER idea to “make Friday’s piece from the dressing room.” SO she gets all the shout outs!!!
Oh, the furtive whispers from the “anonymity” of the dressing room! Charlotte is so reasonable now, I imagine her moment of falling apart can’t be far off.
yep, that’s the rub that nothing is ANONYMOUS or quiet in the dressing rooms.
and you’re right, Charlotte’s unraveling is close at hand, don’t worry.
This piece is amazing! I think you’ve captured the active voice well AND kept the dialogue so realistic and “common” we can all relate to it.
HI you! thank you so much, what a comment from you about ME. I’m shaking my head and saying “she’s bananas!!!” For me, I’m just so glad you stopped by to read it. Truly. Have a great week.