This week at JUST.BE.ENOUGH the prompt is
“Something I secretly like about myself”
I got an email last week from my amazing friend Tiina.
She has been reading my drafts for Gathering Buttercups before I hit publish and visiting me here at my desk to see what part of the fiction is actually rooted in a story from my past with my BFF Lisa (who I am writing Gathering Buttercups for) or another tale from my times before husband, infertility, twins and responsibilities.
She is fantastic listener, a wise adviser and she laughs at my silliest memories.
She is (and she’ll hate me for writing it but whatevs…) : An awesome human being.
Yet, she and I are as different as night and day, ketchup and mustard, fiction and non-fiction. She will shake her head at me and say “Kir, only you could see it like that.” and I just look at her, all “big deer eyes in the headlights and wonder..‘whatever do you mean?’”
So when we were discussing a part of the story that didn’t ring true for her, or for reality in general she sent me an email that explained the way she saw me:
I think of people as boxes of crayons. Most men/women are a box of 8, 16 if they are lucky. They couldn’t possibly conceive of ideas drawn by someone with a box with more crayons – they don’t have the palette. I’m lucky – I may be a box of 64 with the built-in sharpener, but I married a designer. He’s at least a box of 32!
You, my beautiful girl, are a limited edition box of 128 with the built in drawing table and collectors case. You can’t conceive of others not being able to understand what you see.
Reading this my eyes welled up and my heart just burst open. It was more than the reference or the thought behind it,instead what I wanted to believe more than anything was that it might be true. That when I am emotional, empathetic, “too much Kir“, maybe it’s a product of me just being able to view the world in so many different colors that I don’t have a empty space that I don’t how to paint. When I wonder if there is something wrong with me or that my view of the world is something that people just laugh at or pat me on the head about, this gave hope that while I might be different and colorful there is nothing wrong with that.
The truth is that for me, it’s not just BLUE or RED or YELLOW because I love cerulian and azure, crismon and raspberry, canary and sunflower a whole lot better.
Tiina is never going to understand (well maybe now she will) how much it meant to me to get this email, but I truly hope that she knows that what she gave me was more than an explanation.
It was a deep wonderful look into the kaleidoscope of my deep mushy heart that allowed me to see something that I secretly like about myself: The ability to see all the colors.
Next week’s Prompt:
A Path Not Taken
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Thank you Tiina, for….well for everything my friend!!!