When I started Proud Mommy Moments, way back in May 2011, I wanted more than anything, for us as parents to be able to find a MOMENT (in the middle of all the chaos that is raising our children) and not only be proud of our children but be proud of ourselves too.
I also dreamed that people would be clamoring to be part of this series.
Nothing make ME HAPPIER than having someone tell me that they’d love to be part of my VILLAGE.
So there I was at Bloggy Boot Camp in Philadelphia, mildly minding my own business and telling dirty jokes when I met the proud mommy of the day.
The week after she made a dream of mine come true.
She emailed me and asked to share a PROUD MOMMY MOMENT.
She wanted to be a part of this village and I just smiled because I was lost for words. I didn’t know how to tell her that I would be honored to just share the same air with her, so if she wanted to write and share it here…it was a done deal girlfriend.
Arenbya is awesome.
I mean how can you not love a woman who has a tagline that reads:” I laugh to keep from killing“?
That is a woman I want in my corner for sure.
(mostly bccause my 4 yr olds just gave up the NUKS with very little shame from me about it)
So, should I tell you about how she made me laugh at BlogHer with her LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER Open Mic choice?
Or maybe how she made me cry at BlogHer with this?
She was chosen as a VOICE OF THE YEAR & she was brilliant.
Or should I just tell you that being able to share a little bit of time with her at a party on Saturday night made my stomach hurt from laughing so much. She and I both love shoes, and that’s all I’m saying about that.
I just adore her. TRULY.
So I welcome her to this space, to share a story that I can relate to on so many levels.
I give you Arnebya (you’re welcome)
Growing up, my mother never discussed the changes in my body or offered sex education outside of “I’m not raising any more babies” and “Hickeys give you neck cancer.” Seventh grade sex ed class scarred me by depicting what herpes could do. I knew what a period was but mine wouldn’t come until the following year — eighth grade. I was 14.
Things have changed. My oldest daughter’s period started when she was 10. Luckily it then gave her a six month “get ready, I’ll be back”reprieve. It’s shown up like clockwork each month since. I started talking to her early, when she began showing signs of breast development at 7. I was determined that she would not be like me, believing that looking at a penis would cause blindness or crying like Carrie in the shower with her first period thinking she was dying.
Sometimes, I am not nice to my children. I get tired, frustrated, caught up with laundry, grocery shopping, and why won’t this ring get out of the toilet? One night I was so tired I declined every offer to play cards, read, talk, or watch tv. I knew they were disappointed, but I went to bed early anyway. At about 1:00 that morning, I woke to the girls’ bathroom light on. My daughter had had an accident on her sheets.
She was asleep on her back and the sanitary napkin she was wearing wasn’t long enough. I don’t even think I’d told her this was a possibility, perfect mother that I am. Distraught, she was trying to figure out what to do without waking me. Oh, how this broke my heart. I knew she was trying not to wake me because she knew I was tired.
Moreover, she thought I’d yell at her for messing up the sheets.
What the hell kind of message have I been sending with my anger, my frustration at ordinary life with seemingly never ending dishes, that she thought I’d get mad about bed linens? (Worse, if I’m fully honest, when I woke and saw that light on, my first emotion was anger instead of concern).
I helped her change the sheets, stayed in the bathroom as she showered, gave her fresh underwear. We walked to the washing machine together and she confided in me that as much as she hates having to deal with her period each month, she is grateful about one aspect of it: it changes me. To her, each month she gets the understanding, more patient me. Each month she gets the pampering, coddling me, the warm bath running, hot water bottle refilling, Advil and hot tea pushing me. To be honest, I hadn’t noticed that I changed each month, but once I thought about it, I saw it too, and I knew why. I had horrible cramps, the kind that made me miss school. If there’s something I know about, it’s a horrible period.
I did not want her to experience that alone like I did.
I promised her that she didn’t need to have her period for me to be nicer to her. I promised her that I would try to leave work at work and not let it affect how I treated them when I got home. Yes, I was still tired. Yes, it was late. But, I took her by the hand and led her downstairs because one game of late night Uno never hurt anyone.
After reading this, I’m surprised you’re still here, instead of running over to her blog to read her amazing words.
Yet, if you are, still here…can we agree that’s she amazing? That she’s honest and true and wonderful?
I got my period at 10 on the 4th of July, B cups and C cups followed very closely after and it’s been a woman’s world for me since.
I get this, I felt every word.
Thank you Arenbya, for sharing it here , I think you’re an amazing mom.
Here is Where you can find her:
her blog: What Now and Why
her Facebook page: What Now and Why (give it some LIKES people)
Follow her on Twitter, you will laugh your ass off: whatnowandwhy
Arnebya, I am so honored to have you here today.
Now when I can see your sweet smile again? My shoes are ready.