Tendered Offers {Write on Edge/Studio30Plus/Trifecta}

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Shelby kicked at the hay blocking her path with the tip of her cowboy boot. Maggie and Cheyenne droned on beside her as they made their way along the midway, gossiping and sucking cotton candy from their fingertips, but she barely paid attention to them.

Her mind was already a million miles away from the Tioga County Fair and the undeniable odor of animal shit that mixed with the sticky- sweet- stench-of- fried-everything, permeating the air.

She was so lost in the reverie of a life beyond this field that was doubling as a fairground that she almost walked right past him.

What made her turn around was the tickle of Gunnar’s stare as it snuck up her tanned legs and stopped at the frayed hem of her denim skirt.  His hair needed a trim, it had that last week of summer shagginess to it and one platinum strand obscured his left eye.

“Hey Shelb…” he said as he broke away and walked toward her.

“Hey…” she answered, taking in his form fitting Levis and the freckles splayed across his nose.

It was his turn to kick at the piles of muck, “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Can’t wait huh?”

Shelby grunted, “been waiting too long as it is Gun.”

“Yeah.”

She smiled inwardly at the boy’s universal answer to everything.

“So…” Gunnar drawled, hooking his finger through one of her belt hoops to pull her closer.

Shelby felt heat and want ripple through her midsection.

“…for old times’ sake?” he added touching his forehead to hers.

The offer was as crude as the makeshift concessions surrounding them but suddenly Shelby felt like it might be the best way to say goodbye to this life, once and for all.

She shifted and gently pressed her mouth against his, “Let’s go…” she whispered against his lips.

Gunnar stepped back and offered his hand, Shelby took it and followed him past the open gates just as the fireworks were about to start.

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writing prompt

Write on Edge gave us this quote to work with this week:

Katherine Hepburn quote

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Trifecta asked us to use the 3rd definition of CRUDE:

3: marked by the primitive, gross, or elemental or by uncultivated simplicity or vulgarity

3: marked by the primitive, gross, or elemental or by uncultivated simplicity or vulgarity – See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2013/07/trifecta-week-eighty-four.html#sthash.bJ53hv2A.dpuf

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3: marked by the primitive, gross, or elemental or by uncultivated simplicity or vulgarity – See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2013/07/trifecta-week-eighty-four.html#sthash.bJ53hv2A.dpuf

 

and Studio30Plus wanted us to explore

Fireworks & Fairgrounds.

 

Thank you for taking the time to come over and read!

HAPPY WRITING!

 

49 thoughts on “Tendered Offers {Write on Edge/Studio30Plus/Trifecta}”

  1. Shelby is definitely breaking those rules…but you KNOW that 5, or 10 or 15 years down the line she will be forced to return to that hick town to save the general store or something and ol’ Gunner will waltz back into her life…

    Yes, I have read WAY too many romance novels ;)

    1. OH! I’ll have to make sure that she doesn’t come back!! (LOL)

      but in all honesty Gunnar wouldn’t be such a bad thing to come back to (thinking Sweet Home Alabama *wink*)

      :)

  2. Wow! Awesome writing, Kir! You did such an amazing job recreating the setting “That sticky, sweet stench of fried everything” and such a great job of creating that small-town, end-of-summer, county fair type environment. Needless to say, the inter-connection between Shelby and Gunnar is hot, as only you know how to write. Fabulous story by a fabulous writer.

    1. thank you!!!
      I’m so glad that it conveyed what I wanted it to, to have that end of summer feel to it.

      It makes me happy that I’m the go to girl for the HOT and steamy. TGIF!

  3. great ending, Kir! I also especially liked the sensual mix of everything surrounding the scene at the beginning. But not nearly as much as the sensual mix at the end. ;)

    1. Thank you Jody!
      I am so happy that it conveyed the feelings of want in so many ways, I appreciate and respect your opinion very much, thank you.
      TGIF!

  4. Great job putting me right in the scene. Also? HOT. I love your ability to write such sensual pieces that don’t feel cliched.

  5. Awesome details from kicking the hay to the sweet sticky smell of fried everything. I love the line, been waiting too long as it is, Gun. Speaks volumes. And that stare that stopped at the hem of her skirt. I also love the name you chose, Gunnar. Stands out, makes us take notice of how he looks in his Levi’s. The ending made me smile. Your writing knows exactly how to create those fireworks! Great writing, Kir!

    1. HI Steph,
      thank you for coming over to read and for giving me all this feedback, I appreciate that more than you know.

      Yes, the name took me a few minutes, but I liked it too, it was perfect for inducing a fanning of oneself. ;)

      THANK YOU for this. TGIF.

  6. Great story, Kir! I have a feeling her old time’s sake goodbye will end up tangling up her life even more, but I guess when you’re under the influence of cotton candy and boring friends, decision making can be impaired :)

    1. :)
      I always love your takes Janna. I’m such a hopeless romantic that I don’t see her beyond this night, this one last time…but yes cotton candy makes you do silly stuff doesn’t it???

      thank you for visiting. you know I love when you do.
      TGIF

  7. Love the take.. and I can feel underlying the tension between country and town.. Guys stay and girls leave, it’s the same all over the world. Stockholm is filled with single women, and the countryside has an abundance of lonely guys. Whatever the reason she will move on .. being sucked into a life devoid of country and horseshit, and he will root himself to the soil.

    BTW One of my second name is Gunnar (after my Grandfather), a classic Viking name.

    1. HI Bjorn,
      I love when you visit. Maybe I should move to the countryside of Stockholm?

      the thing is that for all our “wanting to get out”, we always find a way back in.

      I also love that your middle name is Gunnar, it fits you in many ways. it’s always been one of my favorite names.

  8. Your description of the county fair was particularly sense-provoking. I felt like I was there! The irresistible offer was cleverly implied. Nicely done!

    1. that is such an amazing compliment, to say that you felt like you were there and one that I take humbly.

      thank you for visiting and your comment, I appreciate both very much.

  9. Mmmmmm. Sexy men are better than fried anything. That IS the perfect way to say goodbye to a life that doesn’t fit any longer.

  10. “What made her turn around was the tickle of Gunnar’s stare as it snuck up her tanned legs and stopped at the frayed hem of her denim skirt. His hair needed a trim, it had that last week of summer shagginess to it and one platinum strand obscured his left eye.”

    OMG Kir! This was such amazing evocative/provocative writing. Fireworks about to start indeed;)

    1. Val,
      thank you!
      I really do love when someone picks a line or a phrase or even a word that they liked, it means that they are truly reading it (I try to do that for the people I read). SO THANK YOU for that.

      I am so glad that you enjoyed it, next time I’ll offer virtual fans at the beginning. :)

      TGIF!

    1. Little Devil…I like that moniker. ;)

      sooooo we should SWEET HOME ALABAMA this girl huh? *wink*

      I love when I write something you like!

  11. Those sorts of rules can be broken, can’t they? There won’t be any repercussions following along after her as she leaves town?

    I liked the last line–fireworks of another kind were about to start up, too!

    1. Oh yes, those are the rules You SHOULD break.
      I don’t know about her future, since I think the masses want a SWEET HOME ALABAMA story for her, but let’s let her enjoy this one last roll in the hay (heh heh) before she goes and comes back, shall we?

      All kinds of fireworks! :)

      thank you for coming over to read!!!
      xo

    1. oh yes, I wanted to play with that word as much as I could. Sweetest kisses are those end of the summer ones. ;)

      thanks for coming by Tara. :)

  12. Loved the metaphor with the fair and the fireworks … oh, and the cotton candy!!!
    I know more than one small-town girl who ended up staying after one of these “goodbyes”. Jus’ sayin’ : )

  13. They’re gonna take a ride on the ferris wheel. That’s it, isn’t it :D haha You can feel the history between these two characters in their words and motions. I love it.

    1. Oh you’re so perceptive, ;)

      so glad you liked it Draug, writing something you enjoy is always something that makes em smile. :)

    1. Oh I don’t know, I was going to let Shelby just leave for college and be done, but it seems that the masses like her enough to bring her back once more. ;)

      thank you for coming over, I do love when you visit me.

  14. Beautifully descriptive – the attention to detail brings the setting alive and your characters are, as always, incredibly well drawn. I was also impressed at how you wove so many prompts into a single story!

    1. I will take EVERY (even the little itty bitty ones) compliment from you because I respect and love your writing so much.

      You being impressed with me doing anything is beyond my reasoning, but thank you. THANK YOU for visiting and reading. I appreciate it so much.

  15. I hope Gunnar is a good friend to her and makes sure she never takes off on her own. Compelling writing!

    1. HI Maggie,
      first thank you for coming over to read me .

      I think Gunnar wants her to stay, it’s Shelby that needs to GET OUT of the small town, the small minds. Maybe he can make it worth it to Stay. ;)

        1. I’m going to write her again this week…hoping to unfold her small town story. :)

          Hope you’re having a good week Maggie Grace.

  16. I enjoyed the description here and loved the setting.

    I see growth in your writing every time I visit. Hugs.

    1. HI you!
      first I started your book last night, I am loving it and enjoying to most of all because I keep saying, “Tina wrote this and it’s so good.”

      thank you for coming over to read me and thank you for that compliment, if you do see growth in my writing, I am very very pleased.

      HUGS

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