Before we gave up sleeping in on the weekends and packing for a trip only involved one suitcase we were just Kir and John.
We traveled and saw every movie in the theaters. We spent money on adult stuff and not daycare, we enjoyed relaxing dinners where we actually talked to one another about subjects that didn’t involve Harry Potter, why the sky is blue and we never ever fought over the green and red crayon. Not once.
We held each other’s hands instead of tiny little (sometimes sweaty) ones.
But I know we wouldn’t give up those things for anything now.
Tomorrow John and I celebrate our 10th anniversary today, I know that for all the things we think we gave up, we really have everything we dreamed of on that Sunday in August a decade ago.
We have the beautiful baby boys we fought so hard for.
We have a beautiful home and trips to NYC, we have love and giggles and inside jokes.
We have family and friends that fill our lives with support and happiness.
Sure, we struggle and fight, we disagree and stress but at the end of the day we are best friends who love each other even when it’s hard to keep that fire burning after so many years.
And we still love cake quite a bit.
It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years since we took our vows and started our life together. But when we start to talk and reminisce the memories all come back as if it just happened yesterday…
“It was HOT.”
“YES!, it was very hot that day. Plus it rained the day before and the day after but we got sunshine that day“
“And it was hot….”
“I remember getting off the exit and being in so much traffic that I thought I wouldn’t make the wedding.”
“oh right!, our Limo driver was stressing about the back to school traffic at the outlets.”
“but I made it…and then I was half dressed.”
“Melissa and Michael helped you get dressed. Right?”
“they did, thank god she was in our room…I had no idea what I was doing. “
“I hated my hair that day, I thought about having it cut and showing up with very short hair instead of an updo“
“How about me calling you “my husband” during our vows?”
“I loved that picture, we even made the rent-a-priest laugh“
“My parents couldn’t come to the wedding.”
“I know, your dad was so ill. I really missed having them there.”
“My brother was so nervous, he called you every name in his toast but Kirsten.”
“It wouldn’t have my wedding without someone mispronouncing my name.”
“I still think our wedding song should have been “Jeremiah was a bullfrog”
“but ‘Someone Like You‘ worked out well….since ‘Joy to the World’ is always going to be our unofficial song anyway.”
“My sister gave such an amazing toast”
“Noelle got so drunk at our wedding and didn’t even know she was pregnant with Isabella yet.”
“Half our wedding was people from work…”
“yep , our ‘other family‘.”
“Having Heather’s dad sing for us was so special.”
“Remember how little Nicholas was then?”
“How about Aunt Leticia asking when we were “really going to get married?”
(we didn’t marry in a church because John’s divorce wasn’t annulled, so John’s aunt was sure that the outdoor ceremony with the man who used to be a priest, who married us wasn’t “Real.” She thought we’d need to go to the court house for our real wedding.)
“remember me telling her that I didn’t get all dressed up for nothing.” *wink*
“My mom looked gorgeous!“
“…and she kept the bar open for an extra hour.”
“we ended up missing the Labor Day Fireworks“
“but everyone else really enjoyed them.”
“Remember how little the girls were back then?”
Our nieces (the youngest just started her senior year and the oldest turned 21 this year. WOW)
“Lisa was the best bridesmaid ever. I can’t believe how long we’ve been friends.
Seriously, what I would do without her?”
“So what else do you remember?”
“You looked gorgeous…..”
“ah thanks honey…”
“I’m glad you showed up and married me.”
“I’m glad you picked me.“
“Oh and you know what else I remember?”
“It was HOT!.”
Since then our memories go to our many visits to Cape May, NJ, Rhode Island, Florida and NYC. Plus our trips to Aruba and St. Maarten that would take us away from reality twice a year.
Then we remember our infertility journey and without words we clasp hands and nod…”No one else I would have wanted to have next to me during those 4 years, love.”
Next our thoughts turn to our sons being born and how our life has changed from the two of us to the four of us and all the lessons we’ve learned together about patience, parenthood and partnerships.
Again, no one else I’d want next to me.
We finish each other’s sentences, we imitate and repeat favorite lines from movies, we try very hard not to piss each other off.
We’re 50/50 and we never forget to say “THANK YOU” to each other. We divide the hard stuff and work as a team as much as we can. We’re far from perfect as a couple and as people, but we’re learning, every single day, that perfection is overrated and that having a partner who knows you and loves you in your best (and worst) moments is worth the work it takes to make a relationship last.
A decade ago I used to worry that I wouldn’t really like being married but I’m so glad that John taught me that it was all about WHO you choose to spend your life with that makes the journey such a happy one.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HONEY, here’s to another DECADE of Love, Laughter and Happy Living.
NOW, Let’s Dance!