When John and I were struggling through infertility we had a lot to say about parenting and how we would handle certain situations. Of course that was before we brought home twin boys and all the decisions raising them would incur.
I’m here to tell you, I used to think that getting and staying pregnant would be the hardest thing I ever did. But I was wrong, parenting (and doing it well) is the hardest and at the same time most joyous thing I’ve ever done.
And I’m always on the outlook for any hand to hold or ear to listen as I do that in conjunction with their dad.
Which is why when I was given the opportunity to read “Get the Behavior You Want…Without Being the Parent You Hate!” by Deborah Gilboa, MD, I jumped at the chance and then have proceeded to tell everyone about this book.
This book is a parent’s best friend.
The chapters are well thought out, covering subjects from friendship to bullying, from sex and sportsmanship (even if they don’t play a sport) and I love the way Dr. G breaks her advice and examples about them into age groups to give the parent of every child timely advice.
How do I feel good about handing out punishments?
How do I instill empathy and concern for others in my children?
When should I talk about sex with my child?
Is honesty always the best policy?
How much should my child rely on me?
Should my first graders have chores?
You’ll get thoughtful answers to all these questions and more.
Just as your child grows, becoming citizens of the world, so do our own expectations of them and the list of their responsibilities inside their own families and the world at large do too.
As a mom, I often wonder and worry about the men I’m raising even on days when I am sure they are still my babies. This book helps me navigate and sharpen my parenting skills. In the last few weeks I’ve turned to it again and again when I was questioning a decision or a discipline.
God knows six year old twins can give my sanity and sensibility a run for its money most days.
For example, take this weekend.
Jacob was thirsty and whining and ‘going to die if you don’t pour my chocolate milk right now, Mommy!”
But I was standing in the middle of his bed attempting to position his new wall decals.
So I remembered Chapter 21 and how it’s okay to let your children learn how to feed and water themselves.
(And I also took into account Chapter 48 about how saying NO is a good thing for you and your children.)
So I said, “Jacob you’re almost seven years old, you can pour your own milk. Just go downstairs and do it.”
He looked at me with eyes like saucers.
“You HAVE to do it mommy!”
And I took a deep breath and said , “No. No I don’t. You can do this yourself. Try not to make a mess and ask for help if you truly need it, but you’re going to go and pour your own milk buddy.”
Want to see a truly confident kid? Watch them to do something they don’t think they’re capable of.
It was enlightening for both of us.
And the whole book is full of wonderful real world examples and helpful advice like that.
It’s the perfect book to keep on your bookshelf as your children grow up and I have been recommending it to other moms daily.
You can get your copy here.
I’m so proud to call Dr. G a friend. I’ve met her in person many times and had the privilege of spending time talking to her about a variety of topics. She is real, approachable, down- to-earth and honest.
You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and I highly encourage you to subscribe to her YouTube Channel. If you have a question about parenting chances are she has an answer for you.
**I was sent a book for the purpose of reviewing it but all opinions and praise for it are my own. **